• Vertical Gridlock

    There is a specific, quiet madness that occurs when a group of civilized adults enters a motorized metal box. For the duration of the ascent, we agree to a temporary truce with gravity and…

  • Notes from a Substrate Custodian

    There is a specific brand of optimism required to own a Vampire Crab. The name itself suggests a certain gothic drama – tiny, purple aristocrats lurking on mossy crags, perhaps plotting a gentle coup…

  • The Tragedy of the Monogamous Gaze

    There is a particular brand of modern heroism required to sit in a darkened room for two hours and look at only one thing. We call it “cinema,” but for those of us with…

  • The Professional Ghost Logs On

    Being sick used to be an event. A clear interruption. I would wake up, assess the situation honestly, and conclude that today I would contribute nothing to society except perhaps a damp impression on…

  • Personal Growth and Being Outperformed by One’s Dogs

    There is a particular kind of humility that is achieved only when one realizes one is no longer the emotional adult of the household. I had once assumed, somewhat naively, that acquiring a professional…

  • All Is Calm, All Is Bright… Mostly Because the Kids Aren’t Mine

    There’s something oddly luxurious about Christmas as an adult with no children. It’s like getting backstage access to the holiday without having to perform in the show. You get all the magic, none of…

  • Ketamine Therapy – A Love Letter to Neuroplasticity and Poorly Supervised Spiritual Growth

    This morning, I woke up with the sensation known in some cultures as optimism. Historically, the times when I’ve felt this most deeply is when Amazon says a package will arrive early. But today…

  • The Last Copper Talisman: America Confronts Its Fear of Letting Go

    There are many ways to measure the emotional fragility of a nation, but few are as revealing as the public reaction to a coin most of us have spent our adult lives trying to…

  • The Strategic Deployment of Aquatic Pest Control: A Pea Puffer Chronicle

    The aquatic hobby, like any pursuit bordering on obsession, eventually requires a reckoning with pests. For the seasoned aquarist, this reckoning often manifests as a slow, inexorable invasion of the unwanted snail. They arrive…